Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: traveling with a TBI & PTSD

January 4, 2025

I have only taken two trips since my head injury ten years ago.  The first time my head could tolerate the flying but my return trip was nothing short of the real life version of the Steve Martin, John Candy, 1987 classic “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles”. Only less entertaining and way more taxing on my head.  My second flight, four years later, brought so much pain and discomfort to my rattled brain I swore I would never fly again.  But here I am, 5 years later, getting ready to take flight and hoping for the best.

The idea of a vacation is lovely.  But the work that goes into it makes me question just how worth it it really is.  I need to arrange my schedule to rest beforehand, so I have the energy to travel.  Then I need to arrange my schedule to rest once I return, so I can recover. A 7 day vacation turns into 21 days of making sure my calendar is bare. I’m no longer a light packer.  There are way too many tools in my traumatic brain injury toolbox that I try to always have at my disposal.  I started a list about a month ago and have been adding to it whenever I remember something I will need just to function on my getaway.  

And because it’s just as much a part of my life as my TBI is, my PTSD will not be forgotten.  I prefer my space, my own things.  I need my routine and crave predictability.  That is safe to me.  Having control has been a huge theme in therapy this year.  Not in a “you will do as I say” type of control, but control over my own environment. I didn’t have control the day I got hit.  There was nothing I could do to keep myself safe, to stop the driver from altering my life forever, so every day since then I’ve aimed for predictability.  Safety. Vacation offers none of those things.  Trying to be excited about my upcoming travels while also being very anxious about all the unknowns, all the what-ifs, is a bit of a battle. 

Despite my concerns about traveling with a TBI & PTSD, I am really looking forward to going somewhere warm. To getting a break from the cold, grey, winter months.  I am so excited to wear shorts and sandals again! I have done all I can do to prepare.  Now it is time to sit back, hope for the best, and keep my fingers crossed that my brain can handle this trip and I don’t regret going back on my oath to never fly again.