Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: 9 years

August 19, 2023 Today marks nine years since my life drastically changed. 9 years. 3,287 days. This was the first year that I almost didn’t write a Confession on this “anniversary”, but somehow, not writing felt wrong, just as wrong as calling this an “anniversary”. I told a fellow TBI survivor recently, I don’t like … Continue reading Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: 9 years →

Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: conversations

December 7, 2022 I see the looks you make when my words fail me. I see the expression on your face when I talk. I notice the glances you share with others when I open my mouth. I’m not blind to it. I always see it and it just adds one more nail into the … Continue reading Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: conversations →

Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: 8 years

August 19, 2022 8 years. Two thousand nine hundred twenty days. At times it feels like just yesterday. Other times it feels like I’ve been living in this form of hell for decades. I feel so many emotions leading up to this day, ranging from anger and frustration to complete sadness. Come August 20th, it … Continue reading Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: 8 years →

Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: lordy, lordy, I made it to forty

July 3, 2022 I turn 40 years old today. When I was 29, about to turn 30, I was devastated. I was not where I was “supposed” to be; I hadn’t done all I was “supposed” to do before turning 30. A decade later and my life is even further away from where it’s “supposed” … Continue reading Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: lordy, lordy, I made it to forty →

Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: you win today PTSD

June 16, 2022 In one breath I say, “I just want to love road riding again.” In the next breath I admit a fear that I’ve shared with no one and that I carry with me each ride: “Is today the day that I’m killed while riding?” I’ve been in therapy working weekly for the … Continue reading Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: you win today PTSD →

Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: breaking up isn’t always hard to do

December 15, 2021 Dear You, I think it’s time we see other people. You see new patients and I will see a new therapist. It’s not me, it’s you. You’re just not “the one”. Sure, we had some good times and you gave me some useful “nuggets” that I will take with me, but we … Continue reading Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: breaking up isn’t always hard to do →

Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: I hate goodbyes

December 10, 2021 If you did not read the title in the voice of Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber…I don’t think we can be friends. Today I said goodbye to my neurologist and it’s not only heartbreaking, it’s scary. I don’t expect many people to understand how I’m feeling regarding her departure, and until … Continue reading Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: I hate goodbyes →

Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: share the road

November 3, 2021 At counseling we’ve been discussing and breaking down my immense fear of cycling. Yes, I still ride, but I’m terrified while doing it and some days that fear keeps me off the bike completely. I don’t want to be afraid and it was important to me to get back on the bike … Continue reading Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: share the road →

Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: talk to me

October 14, 2021 This past summer, after a round of testing, it was brought to my attention that my PTSD was worse than I’d ever let on and/or that the doctors ever realized. It was then recommended to me that I go to therapy because clearly, my way of coping/dealing was not working. My first … Continue reading Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: talk to me →

Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: a heavy load

September 25, 2021 Just because someone carries it well... I am reminded time and time again how easy it is for others to forget I have a brain injury...I wish I could forget. Others get sick, they get better...I wish it worked the same way for TBI’s. Just because I don’t talk about it, doesn’t … Continue reading Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: a heavy load →