Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: I hope they know

June 14, 2021

Given the choice between seeing your baseball playoffs or staying home, I’d rather see you.

Given the choice between watching your piano recital or staying home, I’d rather listen to you play.

Given the choice between nighttime badminton, croquet, squirt-gun fights, cuddles on the couch, giggles, or a game of UNO, my heart chooses you every time, but my head doesn’t always allow it.

I’m never given enough time with any of you and it breaks my heart every single time.  It shatters me to think that when you’re 18, 25, 32 you’ll think “but T wasn’t around enough.”

I hope you all know how much I adore you.  How you give me life.  How you make my heart sing.  I hope you all know that if I could, if my brain allowed it, I’d never miss a game, a recital, a memory, a moment.

Years ago a therapist told me to focus on quality over quantity because I complained I never get enough time with you.  I told her that wasn’t enough, I wanted it all, I wanted a lot of quality time.

Just know my little loves, that every single thing I miss, breaks my heart. And I truly hope that you never question how much I adore each one of you, how much I love you, and how much I wish I never had to miss a single event in your lives.