Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: a little bit louder for those in the back

April 19, 2021

Whatever happened to asking someone how they are doing instead of telling them? Whatever happened to listening to someone instead of assuming?

For almost seven years now I’ve had people make assumptions about my rattled brain, instead of asking me questions.  For almost seven years now I’ve had people tell me what I should be doing, instead of asking me what I am doing.  For almost seven years now I’ve had people tell me it is out of love and support that this happens but for almost seven years now it has been a source of frustration. 

Ask me about my brain injury.  I’ll tell you.

Ask me about my medications and treatments. I’ll tell you. 

Don’t come at me suggesting asinine “treatments” (I’ll recite my most “favorite” asinine “treatment” suggestion I ever received: “soak a strip of brown paper bag in vinegar and place it on your forehead.”  My eyes cannot roll far enough to show how I feel about this one.)

Don’t come at me suggesting I “just relax”.  If “just relaxing” cured a damaged brain, don’t you think I would be all over that?

Don’t come at me suggesting I “stop all medications because they are causing more harm than good”.  How would you know?  You never asked what medications I was on. 

Don’t come at me acting like you know more than the specialists I surround myself with.  Your Google, Instagram, or Facebook search does not compete with their medical degrees. 

Don’t treat me like I’m stupid.  My brain may be damaged but there is still some knowledge in there. Don’t you think I do my own research?  Don’t you think I’m very involved in my own care?  Don’t you trust my judgement on who I allow to treat me? Give me a little credit here.

When you come at me suggesting ridiculous things, my first reaction is to think you don’t truly understand what a Traumatic Brain Injury is or what I’m going through.  My next reaction is anger because you didn’t ask me about my particular brain injury.  My third reaction is “yeah…we’re done!” and I cannot end the conversation quick enough.  

It’s quite exhausting and quite frustrating that the MAJORITY of people come at me with assumptions and insane suggestions, but they NEVER ask me questions.  If it’s true and if these comments come from a place of love and support, then do me a favor and ask me questions.  That feels much more loving to me than you suggesting I wrap vinegar paper around my head.