Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: You’re drunk!

January 31, 2021

About a month or so after my TBI I went to a friends house for a cookout.  I did not plan on staying long but I wanted to stop and see everyone.  As I was walking unsteadily from my car to the porch where my friends were, many people laughed and shouted “she’s drunk!” I was humiliated.  I was still learning my brain injury ropes and I did not know that looking/acting drunk was one of the symptoms.  To an outsider I can see why people thought I showed up inebriated.  I wasn’t able to walk straight, I was dizzy, and my speech was slurred, all telltale signs of having indulged in an adult beverage prior to my arrival.  But to me, I was struggling to be upright and I was struggling to talk with my friends because of damage to my brain.  This was the first time I was accused of being drunk when I was not, but it was not the last time.

I can walk unsteady, like I’m drunk.

I can struggle to stay focused, like I’m drunk.

I can say things without thinking, like I’m drunk.

I can slur my words, like I’m drunk.

I can be impulsive, like I’m drunk.

I can struggle to keep my thoughts straight, like I’m drunk.

I can say things that don’t make sense, like I’m drunk.

I can be dizzy, like I’m drunk.

I can have difficulty following a conversation, like I’m drunk. 

I can walk into/bounce off things, like I’m drunk.

I can space out, like I’m drunk.

I can use the wrong words, like I’m drunk.

I can struggle to control my emotions, like I’m drunk.

But, I’m not drunk.  I’m just a girl living with a damaged brain trying to do the best I can.