Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: T.B.I. Setback

January 5, 2019

I have not exercised in days.  I’ve spent more time on the couch or in bed then I have doing anything else.

This is a TBI Setback.

The pressure in my head is unbearable.  I feel like it literally may explode. The back of my head is tender and throbs as if I’ve just been hit.  I don’t want to be touched because everything is fired up.

This is a TBI Setback.

I am beyond exhausted despite sleeping 13-15 hours a day.  I am in a thick fog that I cannot get out of. I feel like I am in slow-motion all the time.  

This is a TBI Setback.

Some hours are better than others.  Some hours I actually feel human again, but it quickly passes and I am back to laying down.

This is a TBI Setback.

My face is pale but my cheeks are beet red.  My eyes are glassy and my eyelids are only opened half-way (and for the life of me I cannot open them all the way).  I feel sick to my stomach. I am in pain.

This is a TBI Setback.

Sometimes you know what causes it (you pushed too hard for too long; a particularly loud or busy place; stress; etc.) other times it comes out of nowhere.  There is no medication you can take for this. There is no vitamin, supplement, or magic oil. Time is all you need. How much time? No one knows. It may take days, it may take weeks.  It feels like an eternity. The unknown is heartbreaking…when will it end?

This is a TBI Setback.

You avoid friends and family.  You forgo grocery shopping, exercise, laundry, cleaning…anything that takes the slightest amount of energy.  You wait not so patiently for it to pass.

This is a TBI Setback.

These are the times you think to yourself  “this is not fair” or “I don’t deserve this”.  They are also the times you hate the driver that caused it.  In these hours, days, weeks, you long to go back to “just having a head injury” not a head injury that’s flaring up.  

This is a TBI Setback.