Confessions of a Concussed Cyclist: TBI Tired

June 3, 2018

Since August 19, 2014 I have greatly struggled with my lack of energy.  More and more I realize that people do not understand the fatigue that comes with a brain injury.  People compare their lack of sleep to the tired I feel trying to function with a damaged brain. That is comparing apples to oranges; you are trying to compare two very different things.

To use the analogy of a battery, my battery has not been fully charged since August 19, 2014.  I sleep at night (and often during the day) to try to recharge my battery, but it is never back to 100%.  Some days I start off with a 90% charge and other days it’s a 10% charge. I use a lot more energy now just to function than I used before, when my brain was healthy.  Often, my energy for the day is used up by lunch time, hence me sleeping for a bit in the afternoon, so I can function through the rest of the day. As time goes on it feels like my battery charges less and less each night.  

My brain can no longer filter out useless sounds (the fridge running, a clock ticking, a car driving by, etc.) so I’m using energy to listen to things that don’t matter. I cannot turn this filter back on, because that part of my brain is damaged.  I have to focus much more to have a conversation with you so that added focus AND the conversation (whether in person or via text) is tiring. I’m battled a post-concussion-migraine every single day and that alone is exhausting. My brain is still trying to heal itself and build new pathways which requires lots of energy.  I’m trying to live in a fast paced world with a slow processing brain and it’s tiring. Then add to it the day to day chores of being an adult (laundry, paying bills, grocery shopping, cooking meals, doing dishes, etc.) and the fatigue that can bring. I also try to be a decent friend, but being around people is very taxing and takes a lot out of me.  Simply trying to function will drain my battery. But let’s not forget that I like to exercise. So I already have a dead battery and now I want to go out for a walk, a hike, a ski, or a bike ride; I’m now dipping into tomorrow’s energy. This does not include energy I’d need to return to work, helping out at the bike shop, etc. This is simply the energy it takes it do the bare minimum on a daily basis.

Trust me when I say the tired you experience (whether due to poor diet, hormones, lack of sleep, etc.) is NOTHING like the tired someone with an injured brain experiences.  I sleep plenty, so my tired is not for lack of sleep, my tired is because my brain is damaged and EVERYTHING I do takes more energy now than it did when my brain was healthy.